Reactions

I've spent the last couple of days looking after my six-year-old god-daughter.  I had worried slightly that she would be freaked out by my lack of hair, or embarrassed to be seen with me in public.  I needn't have been.  After the first 30 seconds she paid it no attention at all, and we just got on with the important business of having fun.  And because she forgot all about it, so did I.

As she lives on the other side of London, I also spent a fair chunk of time on public transport.  What I noticed from this was that, rather in contrast to my expectations, no-one really gave me and my shaved head a second glance.  So I was beginning to think no-one was really going to notice my head-shave very much.

But today I went back to work, and then it got interesting!  It seems like the people who are most thrown by a change in appearance are not those closest to you.   I suppose they  have the benefit of being prepared by knowing what you're going to do.  It's not people who don't know you at all - they don't know you look any different from usual.  The people who have reacted most have been people who don't know me, but see me every day - in the lift, in the kitchen, by the photocopier or the water cooler.  People I smile at, even say hallo to, but who know nothing about me or my life, other than that I work in the same building as them.

It has been those people who have looked at me twice, in whose faces I have seen curiosity or concern, to which I have responded by explaining that I've shaved my hair off to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support.

One conversation had a big impact on me.  I suppose I was ready for people thinking I might be ill myself, and the conversation that might lead to.  What I wasn't so prepared for was to have a conversation about someone else's loss.  A woman let out a little exclamation when she saw me, and when I offered my explanation, she said "You reminded me of my daughter".  We talked a little about it - the longest conversation I've ever had with her - someone I see most days that I'm at work.

I saw pain, anger, frustration, sadness.  They were not directed at, or caused by me, but  my hair (or lack of it) had triggered memories that brought them to the surface.

It made me glad that my target of raising £1000 no longer seems as unrealistic as I initially thought - so please sponsor me and help me reach it.

A new relationship with my ears!

 The thing is, shaving off my hair has not only changed what everyone else sees when they look at me - it's changed my image of myself.  This is the thing that has struck me most forcibly today - day one without my hair.
It's the weekend.  I haven't yet had to face the world of work, the bus, or even the shops, as I've stayed at home mostly, gardening, sewing and pottering about.  I went for a walk with a friend and the dogs.  But not to the park - we went up to the woods to get away from the heat, and find shade and relative coolness. We didn't meet that many people, and I didn't know any of them.
Throughout the day I have caught glimpses of myself, in the various mirrors about the house, reflections in the windows, most strikingly of all, the shadow I cast walking through the woods.
I have become very aware of my ears - I don't remember my shadow ever having ears before.  They seem larger than I thought too.  I am reminded of how big my Dad's ears were towards the end of his life.  While everything else about him was shrinking, his ears seemed to grow.
When I posted the first post-shave photo on Facebook my sister actually commented that I looked a bit like Dad in about 1940.  I couldn't really see it, but perhaps it was the ears!
To be honest I have been slightly obsessive about how I look today - hence the 3 selfies on today's post (if a picture of a shadow counts as a selfie?).
I like the one below because it really shows the shape of my head.  Also my glasses look  like Geordi's visor in Star Trek, and I love the way my collar bones are highlighted.  I think I look a bit like an alien.  That's a new experience for me too!

The job is done!

And here is the video of the event - in two parts.

Please donate to a great cause!

Today's the day!

So this is it! Shave Day has arrived. So far I have raised over £250 for Macmillan Cancer Support which doesn't seem bad in a week, but I'm hoping some people are holding back to spend their money until the deed is done and they've seen photographic evidence.

Standing on the station waiting for my train this morning l was looking at people's hair and paying special attention to those  with shaved heads - all men. There was a bit of me that wanted to bounce up to them and ask "What setting were the clippers on for that?" Perhaps a bit much. Not everyone wants to be accosted on a station platform by a middle aged woman enquiring about their grooming habits.

I keep coming back to the fact that it's a very different thing for a woman to shave her head. Sinead O'Connor and Annie Lennox have come up in my conversations this week (as have radical feminists and Buddhist nuns) but the reality remains that for most women having no hair is about illness - usually cancer. Which is, after all, the main  reason I'm doing this - to raise money for an organisation that supports people with cancer, and those caring for them.

I have my personal reasons too - a desire to see what I will look like, and what my natural hair colour is now, and, no doubt, to create a bit of a stir!

Either way - today's the day. So please, never mind my personal reasons, dig deep for the  good cause that will benefit from my exhibitionism, and sponsor me!

Won't be needing these for a while!

I have been reflecting on what will be different - other than my appearance - after my head-shave on Friday.  It occurred to me while I was drying my hair this morning that there will be few items that I won't need for a while, and a few things in my daily routine that I won't need to do - things that I don't really even think about most of the time.

Let's be honest, I'm not a person who spends a lot of time on my hair.  I brush it every day - but not for very long, or with much concentration, and so long as it's more or less pointing in the right direction I'm happy.  I won't be needing the brush for a while!

I wash it most days, and use the hairdrier on it - that will be getting a holiday, and I reckon I won't be needing much - if any - shampoo and conditioner for a few weeks.  Maybe I'll even save some money as a result.

I guess I'll be saving myself time too  - a few minutes a day perhaps.  Will I even notice?  Will I suddenly find I can linger a little longer in the park with the dogs in the morning, or catch an earlier bus to work?

 And then there's my 6 weekly visits to the hairdresser.  Those are great days, full of laughter and good conversation.  I don't want to miss those sessions - but I'm not sure what my hairdressing needs will be in 6 weeks from next Friday.  But as she is actually going to do the shave for me, maybe she'll be able to advise.

All these things will become clear, in the fullness of time, as will the long unanswered question of how grey my hair is under the dye.

Please sponsor me to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support.

Hats!

One piece of advice in a comment on my post on Facebook announcing my plan to shave my head particularly appealed to me:

"Hats, Headscarves  -STYLIN'!"

So I dug out my straw hat, and then popped into the charity shop and acquired a rather natty black hat - never worn - a snip at £4.50.

I'm looking forward to wearing them to keep the sun off my head after next Friday.

Please sponsor me, to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support.

Deciding to shave my head

Today I've made an appointment to have my head shaved on Friday 25th July to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support, and set up my online fundraising page.  I saw a poster in the tube when I went up to London a week or so ago, and thought it looked interesting, and then it popped up on Facebook and I decided to think about it seriously.

I've decide to keep this blog as a record of the experience.  Even before I've actually done the deed it's already been interesting.

I consulted a little bit - reactions ranged from:

"Well I don't think it's something I can forbid you to do!"

through

"I would never do that"

to:

"Go for it!  It's only hair - it'll grow back."

Interesting advice received:

Buy a flesh-coloured swimming cap so you can see what you'll look like.  (Really?  My head will look like a rubber swimming cap?).

Get it done with a proper (i.e. cut throat) razor - it's a more relaxing experience.  (Really!!!!!!!)

Things I've been called:

Brave - not really I think because I have secretly wanted to do it for years.  But it's possible I may find I need to be brave once there's no turning back and I have to stand at the bus stop with no hair.

A show-off - yes probably.  But I'm channelling my exhibitionist tendencies for a good cause, which must be worth something.

A mad woman - meant in a nice way I think - at least, it came with a "well done" and a donation!  Again probably true!

So - there will be anecdotes;  there will be photos; there may even be a video.  Watch this space for updates!

And sponsor me, if you feel the urge!